30 Days Of Fear: Closure and Summary


Dear readers,

Almost a month has passed since the fearless November ended. This post will show an overview for the last weeks and to point up few realizations I find extremely important.

Personal challenges

As the challenge went on, I could identify few themes I will keep present as I go on with my life.

Control the fire! I have a tendency to fill up my life with projects. That in a way keeps me going but when I lose myself into that loop, it takes control! I consider that character a fire inside that I have to be able to control it. It stresses me when going too far. It is a tool I can use when thriving for important duties such as ending university studies and preparing for forth coming trip in Latin America. It is a curse when all I see is endless duties, incomplete processes around me. Then it stresses, makes me feel inadequate and paralyzes. I become absent-minded and start blaming myself. –>I find REALLY hard to stay present… A cliché, but it’s all about balance.

Be connected with the child I feel this concept of inner little child useful when trying to understand various and confusing emotions. It’s been a long way accepting myself, through denial, shame and confusion. A little by little I can sincerely say I have started to grow up. Not only because my skills and career develop, I get to know more and so on, but moreover that I have started to realize the burden I keep from my past: Anger, failure, jealousy, guilt, shame and desperate need for attention. It’s all in me. I will let it be. My task is to love that inner little child and see they’re not that serious.

Trust oneself a big part in me would like to stay in comfort zone. Always when I do something different, fears arise and start telling me what bad could happen. Then, I’m outside comfort zone. I say to myself this is meant to be like this, I am wise and I will always survive. It’s like mantra’s I tell myself. Maybe they come true when I believe in them :). Trusting oneself with everything I do releases me from stress. Everything has a reason to happen, even the lazy and too convenient moments :). They are necessary. Your mind tells you when it’s time to do something different. I also try invent new ways to earn my wealth. It all requires trust.

Final group meeting

A friend of mine, Aura, joined us for the last meeting. I invited her, because she has some wise points about life, failure and uncertainty.

Aura gave us a speech:

She told about significant events in her life. The biggest sensations came when she talked about uncertainty. Most of us are afraid of it. It may falter our truth, our worldview, how we see things around us. What if we don’t know or we are wrong? At first sight, this feels HORRIBLE!


I was once in a seminar about failure. An interviewee said that more difficult than failing is actually letting us fail. I compare this to uncertainty. More difficult than being uncertain, is letting us be uncertain. The way we see things around us is just a superficial interpretation. You see people in front of you. What can you know about them? Have you even ignited some light in front of their home or just watched them from a far and maintained your first impression that is controlled by mind patterns and emotions? We are actually always in this uncertainty, we’re never right in a way we think of. I do appreciate people telling me their truths but I maintain my own. All the considered truths are narrow and thin, and that is COMPLETELY OKAY!!

To feel uncertain is to be conscious of incompleteness of our minds. I wish to high light that there’s nothing wrong with it. To be conscious of this, sprouts up compassion, understanding and forgiveness. It releases you from the obsession of being constantly right and trying to push up your truth to others. Remember to distinguish this from honoring our perception. Behind obsession of being right, there may lie a tremendous fear of uncertainty. It might lead to confirm own truth and trying to force others to obey it. It is appreciation of others to maintain their own truth. What we can do is remind ourselves that things can always be seen in other ways. However, I will not join to the debate of legitimate possession of scientific evidence. 😀


After the final group meeting, I completed my last challenge to give a dumpster-diving excursion to volunteers. We ended up sharing the saved food on a train station. You can read it here (in Finnish).

A new challenge group has already started! More hugs have been shared and given. Here you can have some feelings about it: http://veeti.pixieset.com/hugs/


Thank you for those who completed the challenge and came to the meetings. Thank you readers and supporters with my challenges. I thank universe that constantly gives me spots what to develop and makes life so wonderful. Self-development continues, with joy! A new challenge group has already started! More hugs have been shared and given. Here you can have some feelings about it!



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